Found

My whole life, I've wondered what kind of person I am. There are certain molds I wished to fit into. For a while I was a geek. In elementary school, I was the brainy girl that people cheated off of. In middle school, while still brainy, I started to explore the uniqueness I felt was inside of me. I was rejected by the majority of my peers and often made fun of. It just pushed me in my own direction even harder. In high school, I tried so hard to fit into the hardcore scene. It worked, I guess.

It's easy to try to fit into that kind of mold. To become something that is easy to explain. I find myself doing it with others, as well. "Oh, that cheerleader chick..." or "That rocker kid with the piercings..." It's convenient. It's easy. It's identity, and we look for it every day. I take issue here because people are so much more complex than that. People aren't labels and labels aren't people. You can't fit me into a category, and I can't fit myself into a category. No matter how hard I've tried in my life, and believe me, I've tried.

As I assess my life and look at the type of identity I want to have in the future, I realize that the only identity I want for the rest of my life is to be called a daughter of the most high God. Only here can I find any label worth putting onto myself. I've searched for worth in myself and have been sorely lacking. The ONLY good in me is from God. Only when you know my whole story can you understand the mess I was making of things and the hell that I was headed towards. Just like everyone else. If anyone is called saved, it is by grace alone. And my identity as of right now is "saved." That's all I want. If I lived my life like that, then things would be a lot less complicated. I am not the music I listen to, the movies I watch, the place I live, or the clothes on my back. I am a daughter of the most high God. I am an heir to the everlasting kingdom. I am a branch of the true vine. I am a hand in the body of faith. I was once lost.


But now I'm found.